Sunday, October 25, 2009

TIME TO EAT THE DOG

Morning folks.....it's your furry bundle of golden deliciousness and believe me I am a great deal furrier than usual...WHY because something I saw in yesterday's newspaper has well and truly got my hackles up...I think you had better put the kettle on and take a seat....you are going to be SHOCKEROONIED ......
I think this whole world is going to POT...you humans are making a real mess of things and is it any surprise when then are folks like this roaming around. Robert and Brenda Yale have apparently found a solution to the world's environmental problems and they tell all in a new book "Time to Eat the Dog...The Real Guide to Sustainable Living" claiming that folks in Britain should be discouraged from owing pets because and wait for it folks....
we are a threat to the environment.  According to these two numpties who obviously have nothing better to do with their lives...owning a dog is having the same impact on the environment as driving 6,000 miles in a gas guzzling 4 x 4. They go on to estimate my carbon paw print in terms of the amount of land needed to grow food to feed me and even suggest...cover your ears my canine buddies...that my owners would be advised to eat me and get a more environmentally friendly pet like a goldfish. WELL WE SHALL SEE ABOUT THAT.  Apparently it's all about choices...changing your lightbulbs...using a cloth bag when you go food shopping and EATING YOUR DOG and all said without a by your leave...let me tell you mateys there is a BIG BIG difference between changing a lightbulb so the planet can survive for another billion years and MURDERING YOUR BEST FRIEND but I have been doing a little bit of research here and may have stumbled on a solution to save the world and if I was you folks...I would be very very worried.
The average human in the developed world needs 6 hectares of land to feed him throughout his lifetime compared with 0.36 hectares for a dog or cat...so what do you bet some bright spark in some obscure Government Department will eventually work it out...keep all the dogs and cats and get rid of the humans and I would suggest that they start with Mr and Mrs Vale.
The world's gone completely nuts...wouldn't you agree and my Mum almost blew a gasket when she read it....so it would seem that I am not in any imminent danger of being put on the menu and the only pawprint she is interested in are the mucky ones I sometimes leave on the duvet when I duck upstairs for a snooze.
I bet these nutty green wellie hippie drop outs never stop to think of the love and joy such furry delicious boys as myself bring to millions of families across the world ...the companionship to lonely vulnerable old folks...it's OK Mum I wasn't referring to you...so I am calling on all the dogs and cats of the world to stand up and be counted...we are not going down without a fight...I'm off to have a snooze but I will definitely be keeping one eye open in case those nutters come to call and a little bit of advice...if you agree with these two numpties...don't bother to e-mail me...I might just be tempted to see how good you are going to taste.
Big Hugs BUDDY XXXXX